Can you suggest me something about pain of loving someone and being trashed?

Love is not an illusion, but very real. Love is about giving without asking anything in return. Love is about pain, emotional or physical but also, about "affection" to the extend of "vanishing with the thought of it". Not all the women are as the one you've portrayed. There are women who can truly love and who also, have felt your pain. So many people take the word "love" for granted but as fast as you "fall in love", you can easily "fall out of love". There are never guaranties when it comes to "love". It is about giving and losing it all in a heartbeat. We have (I have) loved with the same extend as you. I have also, failed at times but I have also considered to "forgive" myself and the other person involved. Somehow, with so much anger inside of me yet never with a "bitter" taste in my mouth. Love is also about "forgiving"and "respect". Understanding the pain and respecting yourself, is crucial. I think at this very moment, you are in extreme pain and I suggest, you give yourself the time you need to heal. Love yourself and "failing is human" but forgiving is a gift. I wish you "love" and all the luck in the World for your recovery.